Aug 17 2008
Stop and Regroup
My mind is both racing and standing still. I want to blog, but I have no patience toward writing anything intelligent, amusing, or worthwhile. So, I have written little of any interest or true purpose.
I am not depressed, overly excited, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, irritated, withdrawn, overworked (well, I would be if I would make myself do what I should do).
I have not bothered to write my poetry, or attempted to finish my novel. I glance at a few blogs, but hold back to prevent getting lost in them… for I seem to be an all or nothing person most of the time.
So, that is where I am, on a deserted island on the one hand, very much in the thick of something on the other… yet they are indiscernible for the most part. I have not lost my ability to laugh or cry, to scheme or dream, to help or be helped. My only conclusion - I am normal - for me.
The other part of normal for me is change - with the exception of “keeping things unchanged with Leon”, grin, I don’t mind change. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like all of it, but I love the thought of change. Change, to me, means “not static”.
And though many feel that any change should be for the better — an improvement, I believe that any change has potential for a positive outcome… but don’t bother trying to convince me of that if I am in a mood, backsliding at something, or unhappy with a potential change, I will quickly forget everything I just wrote and act human: you know, that do as I say and not as I do stuff… Being human is great, isn’t it?!
And if any of this gibberish makes sense to you… explain it to me, please, because I write by instinct… and instincts are not always infallible, but they sure are fun to have.
May you all have change in your life — and recognize its worth.
