Jun 08 2008
Adult Versus Muse
Old habits of work before play in office environment had 31.5 years to form, but I could never claim that attribute at home, playing with our son and later our niece took priority. And then other play took hold. And thus, I found it hard to allow work habits to return after nearly 8 years of only play especially since my new job is at home, that one environment stamped by non-work habits. Combine 58 years of habits of home associated with play more than work, add my joy of an excuse to play, I mean, learn new computer software, the time consuming hunt for an apartment, the packing, and in the midst, finding the need to turn inward because an introvert needs to do that for sanity occasionally, my work habits have had to fight hard to reestablish themselves in a hostile environment.
And so, Adult Me, with capabilities of separating want from need, practical from impractical, work from play, realized its weak attempts at stopping Muse had failed. (Like Muse is going to respond to “you should”, or hands on hips and glares, or a power stance oozing with authority. Puhleeze.)
Adult Me pulled out the only weapon from her arsenal that might have a chance: “Leon needs more help, he has worked while I played for years, and our future dreams depend on both of us working together. Besides, you have dreamed of working together and it has met your expectations. Are you going to let Muse destroy a good thing?”
Of course, as verbose as Muse, she added, “You’ve proved you cannot resist Muse when she is present, so you must lock her away until your work habits are stronger.” (Like I didn’t figure that out.)
As you have noticed Muse has won a battle or two for now, but I must win the war, because my personality is so much all or nothing, if I don’t give my all now at learning to work at home and ignoring Muse until I can develop a good habit, I will have nothing or nothingness all the time.
So, that is my resolution, for now.
