Jan 09 2008
I had something to say today
(Note to feed readers: It may be easier to understand on the site, now that I have taken the bold and full italics off.)
OK, so I always do. The following is my Three Word Wednesday, most often a poem, but not today; always on MeeAugraphie rather than here, but not today. This did not, as usual, go where I thought it would… and I admit, I rushed it, I sit so much, I cannot miss the chance to go for a walk, and he has waited as long as he is able… working for a living…
Some of y’all have not had the thrill of trying to work three words of someone else’s choosing into your posts. The rules, just use the three words in a creative way… Today I chose fiction. The words Bones chose are: Gossip - Naive - Station. Click here to see what others wrote. You will be glad you did.
The Cafeteria Worker
She stood at her station on the cafeteria line, her unwashed hair hidden, for the most part, beneath the elastic edged cap. She heard the gossip behind the closed lips of each ice cold mannequin that walked by in dry cleaned clothes — freshly pulled from their plastic, wafting the poison that cleaned them to permeate the lungs of all around.
She knew their minds, knew their cold hearts, she had been one of them, Monday through Friday for eight years. They were as naive as she was, thinking they were protected from her current world.
She realized she was only telling her story, as flat as the seams on their suit jackets. Embellish, she thought. Damn it, embellish! Show your audience, don’t just tell them! Don’t you remember anything from your years in college. Make it interesting! Show life in not just one, two, or three dimensions, toss in the other dimensions, the ones we forget about.
“Mashed potatoes and corn, please,” cut into her thoughts. She said nothing, did not acknowledge — even with her eyes — but neither did her spoon address the potatoes as they did two thousand four hundred and fifty-six times before. No, she did not merely scoop with her stainless steel spoon to plop the small bowl the creamy mass (in color, so not in texture).
No, she did not, with a jerk of her arm, slap the steel into the runny mass and send wet dirty snow (in texture, not in color) onto the acrylic that separated her before from her after.
Elizabeth Wordsmith MacKensie Jones, instead, carefully sunk her sterling silver spoon into her mother’s lumpy mashed potatoes, heard her gravely voice speak as it had years before at the dinner table, “They are all people, just like us, doesn’t matter which end of the track they are on, which side of the dollar. What came to them can come to us and vice versa. Our gossip is just as bad as theirs. Our money buys the same poorly made crap as theirs, ours just cost more. Life has a way of being an equalizer, Elizabeth. Best you remember that.”
And in those brief seconds, Elizabeth smiled, even grinned a bit, as she handed one of her former selves more than just potatoes, she accepted her as a fellow human just trying to make a living in those foot destroying high heels and stomach choking pantyhose.
“Ma’m, the cheesecake is much better than the apple pie. You may wish to try it today instead,” were the words that came out of her mouth. I think I will wash my hair as soon as I get off, were the words that formed in her mind as her own self-respect returned.
MeeAugraphie
01/09/08
19 responses so far
I love the play on the word “station” The different voices and how beautiful and interesting this is
so well done! You really made me feel this. I think what is most missing in society today is people have lost the ability to see the common inner aspects of humanity.
A pleasure read prose from you. It is as engrossing as poetry.
Very nice Marcia, I really could see the place and emotions. Could even smell the mashed potatoes.
I hope you enjoyed your walk. Say hi to Leon.
This was an excellent story, well written, so much packed within it.
oh mee… this was so wonderful… i am speechless… i must go reread it…
Elisabeth Wordsmith MacKensie Jones…a wonderful name. I will remember it the longest. The story was just complicated enough that it required a second read to fill in the blanks. As you know this is my favorite genre. Thank you.
b
Wise and wonderful prose! It’s strange that we are trained to see the difference rather than the sameness. Stomach choking pantyhose! Perfect description…
that was beautiful…there’s always something to look forward to…and it was great to see another dimension to your writing…
Your prose is as wonderful as your verse!!
Great piece - I love the mother’s comments
Very well done..Marcia! You write better than you write if you know what I mean. I mean you’re fiction is much better than what you write everyday….and that’s a compliment! My only complaint….too short…I want to know more about Elizabeth! Bravo.
I love the transition in this. It makes you wonder what happened in the first place that she found herself in the “lowered” station. To me, any honest work, as long as you put your heart into it is something you can be proud of.
Enjoyed reading that because there were many dimensions to it : )
I also liked how your ending ties in with the beginning.
Life has a way of being an equalizer
Great line, Marcia. Wow. Exceptional.
Thank you, TC. I am sure I must have overheard that line somewhere before, though.
I, too, was taken with the line “life has a way of being an equalizer.” Oh, my doesn’t it. As always, your work is sublime. I haven’t gotten the chance to tell you that in awhile.
Shelly, thank you. If anyone knows about equalizing, it is you, I think.
Hey, great stuff! Unpredictable, fast-paced writing.
Thanks, Christine, fun that it was not predictable.
Hi Marcia! Wow — this is really powerful and so beautifully written. It felt so real. I love the way her self-respect came back at the end — I was totally rooting for her. You write with great depth and feeling, right from the heart.
Clare, thank you. I was rooting for her, too, wasn’t so sure she would get there.
Nice take on the words, Marcia. I enjoyed reading this piece. It was a nice change up to your poetry. Love the way you took us into the humanity side of things. Have a nice weekend.
Thank you , Michelle. Fiction is not something I write a lot of, still experimenting.
There is so much in this! The way we sometimes form an opinion of others, simply because of their “station” in life. How the harsh realities and circumstances in life can leave us in a place we never expected to be.
This is very different from you. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Keepp experimenting, please
Be careful what you ask for Bone, :), but thank you.