Aug 07 2007
Friends
Rose Dewey Knickers wrote today about walls we put around us and friends, asking us questions. I lingered there and commented, her words implanted themselves in my mind. I took off to visit another poet’s blog I had not yet read, Greggo’s Anonymity. He wrote recently about balance in friendship. A lot to think about there, too. I left his and found yet another mention on the subject (and now cannot find it).
Friends/Friendship seems to be on eveyrone’s minds lately, whether on internet friends, best friends, or lack of friends. I think friends is a relative term, like relatives there are many levels of friendship.
It takes two to make a friendship just as in a marriage it takes two to have a marriage, and in both cases, though there will be ups and downs, hot and cold, one more involved at times than others, the union cannot exist if both are not willing. “It takes two to Tango.” Cliche, perhaps, but quite a visual example: Have you ever seen someone Tango alone? No, create it in your mind. He or she may have the moves, the music may be intensifying the mood, but it falls flat. (Unless they are exceptional comedic actors, I assume)
The interplay between the dancers is not there. The music is still doing its thing but it is not getting the emotional interplay it needs to complete the scene.
A friendship needs that interplay, not always at that level, but action and reaction, nevertheless. What some people still discount is that interplay does not have to be in person, it can be online or by phone or letter. Friendship does not have to be at the level of soul mate, though once we have found one, no one wants to let it go. Friendship does not have to be deep, does not have to be “best” friends. Friendship is really just two-way communication and respect between two people at a level the are comfortable with, isn’t it?
And speaking of Rose and Greggo - - check out their poetry while you are there!
3 responses so far
Thanks Marcia.
I was thinking about this while Brian was having lunch and reading his book. (I’m not interested when he eats.) He and I are friends but we don’t necessarily have to be. I am, at my heart, a practical girl. But I am also ruthless. I will protect myself and all the others from harm.
I know Marcia for a fact that many bloggers out there don’t like me. Don’t like us. We are a threat you see. A threat to those that wallow in victim hood. I am a survivor.
To me, the past is past. There is nothing I can do that will change my fate. I am a multiple and always will be. But the face, the body happens to belong to an amazing person. And that person has allowed me to be real.
It does take two people to be friends. It does take two people to trust.
I do trust you Marcia and I value all that you have done for me. I need friends. Me, Rose needs friends. Brian doesn’t, not in the same way. That’s why I ask these questions. This is my way of growing up. Of being real.
Rose - People see threats everywhere, I have seen them over the years when they probably weren’t threats. It is not fair, not right, but it is reality. Survival is what most of us want — survival from different things, perhaps, but survival - and we all survive things in a different way. We are not all the same no matter who tries to convince us otherwise, humans are complex, similar motivations, but so many to choose from and so many ways to act on those motivations. Smile for yourself, smile for those who understand as much as possible. Smile for those that try to trust. Just plain old smile, why not!